WHO WE SUPPORT

Engaged Couples

In many ways we have been falsely led to believe that the marriage process is straightforward, and that all that we are doing is planning a wedding. Yet, in reality, it is a surprisingly convoluted emotional process in which we are now expected to take other people’s feelings about our wedding, our union, into consideration, all the while processing what it means to become a wife, husband or lifelong partner. Suddenly, the once joyful intention of throwing a fabulous party for all of our friends and family can quickly devolve into unexpected emotional territory.

The decision to merge lives with another person is immensely joyful, yet can also bring a deluge of mind-boggling weirdness.

Kinship Collaborative was borne out of a personal and intimate understanding of just how destabilizing the engagement, wedding planning and marriage process is.

Let Me Guess…

Perhaps you unexpectedly find yourself fixated on finding a very specific shade of chartreuse for the picture perfect wedding that you have had in mind since childhood?

Yup, that’s a thing.

Or your mother (grandmother, aunt, sister, etc.) begins to bombard you with a litany of unsolicited opinions on what you should do with this, or with that.

Also very much a thing.

And suddenly, without much warning, we find ourselves drowning in a sea of unanticipated anxiety while simultaneously trying to manage the expectations and opinions of others.

Old family dynamics will reemerge, it is inevitable. Perhaps you will lose sight of your own needs while trying to please everyone else? Or perhaps you become totally obsessed with everything needing to be perfect and Instagram-able (including yourself)? Or you may find yourself in the middle of other people’s old conflicts and resentments, now attempting to keep the peace and support others during this time. This time, that should, without question, be about you and your betrothed (cool word, huh?).

We want you to know that all of these experiences are completely, entirely **normal**.

We at Kinship Collaborative believe that within this period of tremendous change, there should be a kind of sacred space created for your self-care, self-discovery and growth. With the right support, you can not only survive this process and throw a kick-ass wedding, but you also have the opportunity to deepen your relationship, gain invaluable insights about yourself and others, acquire and practice new skills, all while creating connections and community.

Free Resources

for engaged couples

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In-Laws: I feel like I’m on the outside

In-law relationships by nature are complicated. Even in the most amazing in-law relationships, confusion about family roles, alliances, and decision-making can be present. It can be most confusing, in fact, when you love your in-laws, when they are supportive, yet there is still a feeling of unspoken tension about who is aligned with whom and who has power in the family.

If your partner is close with their family, or is not emotionally close but is in some way locked in a dynamic with them, they may be unconsciously conflicted about the natural and necessary process of moving their loyalty away from their family and toward you.

Read on to find out more about this process, and some practical guidance for working with it.

Creating Conscious Wedding Planning Roles: An Interactive Exercise for You and Your Partner

We are all about using engagement to create a conscious foundation for your marriage. This Kinship Moment will help you talk about your wedding planning gender roles with your partner! The exercise below will ask each of you to think and share about your roles in wedding planning, to help determine how to delegate responsibilities, how to support each other, and how to use this time to connect more deeply.⁠

Dismantling Wedding Gender Roles: Part 1

How familiar does this dynamic sound: The bride-figure creates the Pinterest boards, starts brainstorming with their friends, begins research for vendors—the groom-figure takes a step back to "support" and give their "approval" when necessary. The bride stresses about family dynamics, table settings, and *the* dress—the groom offers his advice but may be shut down or dismissed. When the wedding is done, the bride reflects on what she could have done to make the day smoother, and feels responsible for any issues or mishaps.